We all have thoughts and opinions. These are mine. The topic itself will change once in awhile. It could go from a overt personal opinion, a quote or maybe a poem. Hey quit laughing- I can be serious too ya know!
Who's yer daddy? 4/
This is the day after our taxes were due, but that has no factor in the timing of this rant. I have always found this picture of my "Uncle Sam" ironic. Admittedly, I did not have a lot of uncles, (two), but neither were ever this grumpy. I saw them stern with their own children at times, but not really with the nephews and nieces. We grew up with respect towards them, but I don't think they ever felt like they could demand anything from us. Maybe this is that uncle I would hear other kids talk about... the one that drank too much or had gone to jail.... the one they tried to avoid. While she may not be an aunt, I'm glad liberty is a lady.
Love for sale? 3/24/13
Has the meaning of "sharing" changed? This morning I was watching the "CBS Sunday Morning" show and the first story was about sharing... but it was about renting. Got an extra bedroom? "Share it" with someone for $73/night. Got a tree house with a view of the Golden Gate bridge? "Share it" for $195. You do your sharing on the internet with "sharing sites".
Is this how we teach our kids to share now? "Billy share that toy with your little brother!" "O.K. You can use it for 45 cents an hour."
I was taught that sharing was to give voluntarily out of your surplus- or maybe beyond your surplus- without return expectation.
You may have a skill that you can offer to others- great! If you volunteered it, you shared. If you sell your ability you conducted business. I am all in favor of small business- just don't call it sharing. When money or item has been bartered a business transaction has been made. Am I wrong? I just shared an opinion.
Is this how we teach our kids to share now? "Billy share that toy with your little brother!" "O.K. You can use it for 45 cents an hour."
I was taught that sharing was to give voluntarily out of your surplus- or maybe beyond your surplus- without return expectation.
You may have a skill that you can offer to others- great! If you volunteered it, you shared. If you sell your ability you conducted business. I am all in favor of small business- just don't call it sharing. When money or item has been bartered a business transaction has been made. Am I wrong? I just shared an opinion.
Go ahead ask... 1/28/13
When I was in 9th grade I had to take algebra and while I didn't fail lets say I hit a personal low. Part of the reason was the teacher made you feel dumb for asking a question. Now he is in school administration... go figure.
One of the most Frequently Asked Questions I get is "how do I keep my tuners from slipping?". Well, that screw on the back of a standard friction peg does more than hold on the knob. It actually helps pinch the headstock to create friction to keep the tuner from turning- hence the reason to call it a friction peg.
I had never seen a sticker like this on a uke before. It was on a "Swing Your Partner" banjo uke that looked very similar to a Mastro banjo uke made by Maccaferri. It very simply answers a question. (I asked permission to use the photo and got a "go ahead".)
If you have a question for me or another ukulele pal don't hesitate to ask- It only shows you that you want to learn more.
One of the most Frequently Asked Questions I get is "how do I keep my tuners from slipping?". Well, that screw on the back of a standard friction peg does more than hold on the knob. It actually helps pinch the headstock to create friction to keep the tuner from turning- hence the reason to call it a friction peg.
I had never seen a sticker like this on a uke before. It was on a "Swing Your Partner" banjo uke that looked very similar to a Mastro banjo uke made by Maccaferri. It very simply answers a question. (I asked permission to use the photo and got a "go ahead".)
If you have a question for me or another ukulele pal don't hesitate to ask- It only shows you that you want to learn more.
Everyone has hypocrite potential 9/3/12
I like to read bumper stickers and I usually have time to do that in bumper to bumper traffic. Recently I saw two stickers on a car that we have all probably seen. You know the ones- "Tolerance" and "co-exist" with the words being made out of religious symbols. The ironic thing is this driver with a child's car seat in the back would not allow and I mean WOULD NOT ALLOW cars to merge into his traffic lane. I guess we all have bad days...
Maybe that's why my cars don't have bumper stickers.
Maybe that's why my cars don't have bumper stickers.
An alias by any other name... 8/29/12
Recently I was confronted as to where "Ukester Brown" came from. If I follow my "ukulele roots" it would go back to when I was about 12 and got my first ukulele, but that is when my playing began, not when U.B. was "born". If I fast forward to when I started to take uke more seriously it would be linked to Jim Beloff and the Flea Market Music website and my Fluke. Beyond that it would go to Geoff Davis who organized three ukulele festivals I attended in Indianapolis. My friend Brian founded our local club StrumMN and has given me playing pointers too. The Windy City Uke Fest and Milwaukee Uke Fests also contributed with all the teachers that were made available to me. All those people and things have helped me become a better ukulele player, but what has made Ukester Brown is TIME. I used to have a 2 hr. round trip commute to a home that demanded much more hands on maintenance. It was a small town and I was involved in many activities that took up about 5 or more hours a week. About 2 years before U.B. was debuted I downsized to a town home / condo which requires me to do less maintenance time and my commute is 25 minutes roundtrip. I am no longer involved in those other activities that I used to do. TIME that was "given" to me is what is responsible for Ukester Brown. This is the TIME I give him. If I gave no TIME to him he would evaporate and yet I would still be making music, but without Ukester Brown. TIME...
Do You Like Puns? 8/15/12
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine ..
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
22. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
23. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
24. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine ..
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
22. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
23. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
24. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Just The Facts... 6/12/12
At some point in history there was a male human named John and he was in need of some water. It is not clear why he needed the water, perhaps for beverage or cleaning, but whatever the reason he did have need of water. He must have been in a place where running water was not an option, or if it was he was having to collect it and transport it to a place where it was needed because he had a bucket in his possession. He was accompanied by a female named Jillian. Their relationship is unclear. Whether she was John's mother, sister, wife, cousin or lover is unknown, but it is clear they were traveling together with John carrying the bucket also commonly called a pail. In the journey to fill the bucket with the water they were having to progress up a topographical incline. The angle of the incline must have been somewhat high because of what happened to John and Jillian while attempting to climb it to fetch and tote the pail of water to wherever their final destination was to be. It seems that somewhere in the trip uphill that John fell down injuring his cranial orb and that somehow Jillian too fell and then tumbled, though probably not in a gymnastic fashion, down the incline after John incurred his injury. It is not known if the water was ever procured.
My Turtle Dutch... 4/14/12
I have always liked turtles and growing up in the country near lakes I saw them all the time. I also remember being able to buy them out of a big tank at the Woolworth's store for fifty cents each. A few of those ended up buried in match stick boxes near my sandbox. With my job I have found many hatchlings on the road and given them a head start by releasing them in a safe place or feeding them for a summer and letting them get bigger before release. The picture to the left shows the approximate size of these hatchlings next to a quarter- this is a hatchling found in April 2012. I usually find them in May.
Dutch is the one turtle I have kept. (It is legal in Minnesota to have some species if you have a fishing license) Right from the beginning Dutch would eat turtle pellet food. Many turtles I have had I had to dig worms or cut up minnows to get them to eat and that is messy dedication! Check out his pictures below.
Dutch is the one turtle I have kept. (It is legal in Minnesota to have some species if you have a fishing license) Right from the beginning Dutch would eat turtle pellet food. Many turtles I have had I had to dig worms or cut up minnows to get them to eat and that is messy dedication! Check out his pictures below.
Life was in black and white back then... 4/11/12
When I was growing up there was a local kid’s T.V. show called “Lunch with Casey”. The theme was Casey Jones the railroad man and his partner Roundhouse Rodney. Those of us kids who were at home for lunch could sit down and eat our PB & J's and watch our friend Casey Jones. It had funny skits and characters and Casey was a star in our eyes. He would sometimes be at local festivals where he would hand out the prizes for drawings. My name was called out at least one year at “Bullhead Days” and I won a Gumby and/or a Pokey toy. I felt like a million bucks! One thing Casey did at the end of the show was sing the happy birthday song. Using state of the art technology names would scroll by on a paper roll that was enclosed in the drawing of a train car. MY NAME rolled by one year on my birthday- I felt famous! To this day I do not know who sent in my name.
Here is a picture of Casey (with ukulele) his side-kick Roundhouse and Chef Hank Meadows.
My friend Brian who founded our ukulele club StrumMN made his own Roundhouse hat by stretching felt over a football and later in life worked with Roundhouse's son!
You can learn more about Lunch with Casey HERE. The photo was used with their kind permission.
Here is a picture of Casey (with ukulele) his side-kick Roundhouse and Chef Hank Meadows.
My friend Brian who founded our ukulele club StrumMN made his own Roundhouse hat by stretching felt over a football and later in life worked with Roundhouse's son!
You can learn more about Lunch with Casey HERE. The photo was used with their kind permission.
Hezzie Haiku 13 3/22/12
Curled up at my feet
He heaves a contented sigh
I hate to get up
He heaves a contented sigh
I hate to get up
A wonderful four letter word.... 3/17/12
I grew up in a small town of fairly similar families. Dad worked a factory job or farmed, (maybe both) and mom worked the home front with a big garden and canning it's produce. We made do with what we had. Hand me down clothes were the norm. We had a relative who lived in California (!) and they didn't have anyone to hand them down to and sometimes they'd get sent our way. I know of one itchy but warm wool sweater that lasted at least 4 boys!
Some of my curb finds have been chairs, brass lamps and a really nice big trunk from the 1930's. Some things may have needed a bit of tending, like glue or new wiring, but it was FREE.
I remember the day I found the trunk. I actually went up to the house and asked if they were indeed throwing it away! When they told me yes, and that I could have it, I told them "Thanks". That too is FREE and today equally as rare... Thanks for reading!
Some of my curb finds have been chairs, brass lamps and a really nice big trunk from the 1930's. Some things may have needed a bit of tending, like glue or new wiring, but it was FREE.
I remember the day I found the trunk. I actually went up to the house and asked if they were indeed throwing it away! When they told me yes, and that I could have it, I told them "Thanks". That too is FREE and today equally as rare... Thanks for reading!
One is the loneliest number... 3/11/12
Last night my wife and I went to eat at one of our favorite burger places. There was a big line outside and I heard one man come out to his family saying there was a 30 minute wait. I thought about leaving right then. Once I got to the front of the line and told them there were only two of us they took us right in to a small booth. It seems there was a shortage of small parties for the small booths and a shortage of big tables for the family groups.
As I was sitting there watching all the big family fun I also knew why we got in so quickly. I was also really glad to have someone with me to share my time. I know one may be the loneliest number, but now I know two gets a table more quickly.
As I was sitting there watching all the big family fun I also knew why we got in so quickly. I was also really glad to have someone with me to share my time. I know one may be the loneliest number, but now I know two gets a table more quickly.
Hush Limbaugh 2/22/12
I saw the above saying on a bumper sticker recently. If you do not know who Rush Limbaugh is; He is a conservative radio talk show host in the U.S. The person who has this bumper sticker obviously does not agree with Rush's opinions. The problem with the idea of "hushing" him is with whom do you stop? We in the U.S. are blessed with the right of free speech. In my opinion we all have the right to be offended without being slandered.
Recently I have been hushed. I burned the inside of my throat trying to gobble down a bowl of hot chile. The Doctor say's don't talk, stay hydrated and coat the throat with a recommended over the counter medicine. It is not easy to be hushed- even for a few days. It's hard to swallow when you lose your "voice". It's another thing to have it taken away.
Recently I have been hushed. I burned the inside of my throat trying to gobble down a bowl of hot chile. The Doctor say's don't talk, stay hydrated and coat the throat with a recommended over the counter medicine. It is not easy to be hushed- even for a few days. It's hard to swallow when you lose your "voice". It's another thing to have it taken away.
Life's not a beach, but... 1/22/12
I spent a day in Huntington Beach, CA (Surf City) recently and I forgot that it was January.
At least for one day life was a beach and I was fortunate to be a part of it.
What's in a day? 12/31/11
To some degree or another we have all taken the attitude that Calvin shows in this "Calvin and Hobbes" comic. I have tended not to make a resolution, at least not like, "I'm gonna lose ten pounds", or I'm going to quit smoking". New Years day is after all just another day, but it is a day that is somewhat like a location on a map. That being said I think I'll make a resolution today that I should be able to keep. "I will pay attention to the new things I learn each day". I think I'll write a few of them down so I'll realize I did learn something new. Now here is something new you may not know about me... I love Louis L'Amour books. From swash buckling adventures to cowboy stories- good wins over bad even though it's not an easy struggle and the good guy gets the girl. Those of you who knew this stuff may not know he also wrote poetry and had a book of poems published before he ever had a novel published. Here is one of his poems:
"Winter"
Bare trees standing stark
Against the sky, lifting
Thin, imploring arms
To the cold gray clouds
Now you know one more thing about Louis L'Amour. Go write it down before you forget.
"Winter"
Bare trees standing stark
Against the sky, lifting
Thin, imploring arms
To the cold gray clouds
Now you know one more thing about Louis L'Amour. Go write it down before you forget.
Time to be Serious... 12/10/11
A customer of mine died on Thanksgiving morning. He was 56 years old. He raced bicycles in the summer and cross country skied in the winter. We kidded about a lot of "life things" the brief minutes we saw each other every day. I got this picture in an email a while ago and I was going to print it out for him because as a bike racer I new he'd appreciate it. It didn't get to him because of, well, my procrastination. Oh, by the way, Rich didn't die from riding his bike, or cross country skiing. He had a brain aneurysm. Life is short and it can end soon. We hear this all the time, but sometimes we have the truth confront us up close. The truth can be painful- like being hit by a car, or painless like a hug, but the truth is the truth and there are some things we need to be reminded of... like stealing is wrong, secrets are meant to be kept, love is meant to be shared, respect is earned or lost, and life is short and can end soon. Do you have a plan for the end that you are living out today? As sobering as this "rant or writ" is I hope that you have a beautiful Christmas season AND life ahead!
Hezzie Haiku 12 10/23/11
Mexican Hat Dance
No tree around to aim at
Puddle forms below
No tree around to aim at
Puddle forms below
Not everything tastes like chicken... 9/30/11
Sex sells everything from cars to- well, everything. PETA doesn't like the advertising of seeing a chicken "corpse" in a sexy position. I myself think this is funny- ironic. After all, we are what we eat!
Of course, I like to eat chicken "corpses." This doesn't come from someone who is distanced from food preparation. I grew up in the country. I participated in the whacking off of heads. If the smell of the feather removal process doesn't turn you away from eating chicken, nothing will. I had some last night. Fried, baked, grilled- I love 'em all. The only thing better than chicken is chicken with bacon. That's one thing that doesn't taste like chicken.
Of course, I like to eat chicken "corpses." This doesn't come from someone who is distanced from food preparation. I grew up in the country. I participated in the whacking off of heads. If the smell of the feather removal process doesn't turn you away from eating chicken, nothing will. I had some last night. Fried, baked, grilled- I love 'em all. The only thing better than chicken is chicken with bacon. That's one thing that doesn't taste like chicken.
What's Forever For? 8/14/11
As A kid I used to look at older fellas- mostly veterans from the Navy or maybe a biker and be somewhat amazed at their tattoos. O.K., so maybe now it's called "body art"... It seems to be increasingly in vogue- even with those who are models and depend on their appearance for their livelihood. (I found this photo while stumbling upon photos of misspelled tattoos.) While many people are fearful of personal commitment with another person, they will get inked. I think tattoos may have a lot in common with marriage and here are my comparisons:
* Many are gotten while intoxicated
* It is a lifetime commitment or at least painful and costly to get out of
* Many do not turn out the way you anticipated
* Some are done as something to show off
* You may look more like each other as you age
* Your soul mate may fade, stretch and change shape as the years go by.
* Many are gotten while intoxicated
* It is a lifetime commitment or at least painful and costly to get out of
* Many do not turn out the way you anticipated
* Some are done as something to show off
* You may look more like each other as you age
* Your soul mate may fade, stretch and change shape as the years go by.
Vocational Hymns 8/3/11
Dentist.................. Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman...There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor................The Church's One Foundation
Tailor............................................Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfer.......................There's a Green Hill Far Away
Politician........................Standing on the Promises
Optometrist...........Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent.......................................I Surrender All
The Gossip............................................Pass It On
Electrician......................................Send The Light
The Shopper............................Sweet Bye and Bye
The Realtor.............I've Got a Mansion Just over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapist............He Touched Me
Medical Doctor................The Great Physician
AND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns:
45mph ………. God Will Take Care of You
65mph ........... Nearer My God To Thee
85mph ........... This World Is Not My Home
95mph ........... Lord, I'm Coming Home
100mph ......... Precious Memories
Weatherman...There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor................The Church's One Foundation
Tailor............................................Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfer.......................There's a Green Hill Far Away
Politician........................Standing on the Promises
Optometrist...........Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent.......................................I Surrender All
The Gossip............................................Pass It On
Electrician......................................Send The Light
The Shopper............................Sweet Bye and Bye
The Realtor.............I've Got a Mansion Just over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapist............He Touched Me
Medical Doctor................The Great Physician
AND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns:
45mph ………. God Will Take Care of You
65mph ........... Nearer My God To Thee
85mph ........... This World Is Not My Home
95mph ........... Lord, I'm Coming Home
100mph ......... Precious Memories
PG13 Political headlines? 6/12/11
Weiner accused of lewd tweets
Weiner denies sexting
Weiner roasted
Teen interviewed about Weiner
Weiner may be investigated
Congressman calls for Weiner probe
Weiner stands alone
Weiner sheds tear in front of crowd
Weiner pressured to resign
Democrats put pressure on Weiner
Weiner requests time off
....unfortunately there'll be more.
And there are:
Supporters back off of Weiner
Weiner no longer upstanding in Congress
White House says Weiner a distraction
Weiner seeks treatment as heat rises
Fans of Weiner let down
Weiner sits on $1 Million Pension
Hustler Magazine offers Weiner a job
*Here is my opinion:
Weiner shouldn't have lied. After all, what's a Weiner without integrity?
Just more baloney.
Weiner denies sexting
Weiner roasted
Teen interviewed about Weiner
Weiner may be investigated
Congressman calls for Weiner probe
Weiner stands alone
Weiner sheds tear in front of crowd
Weiner pressured to resign
Democrats put pressure on Weiner
Weiner requests time off
....unfortunately there'll be more.
And there are:
Supporters back off of Weiner
Weiner no longer upstanding in Congress
White House says Weiner a distraction
Weiner seeks treatment as heat rises
Fans of Weiner let down
Weiner sits on $1 Million Pension
Hustler Magazine offers Weiner a job
*Here is my opinion:
Weiner shouldn't have lied. After all, what's a Weiner without integrity?
Just more baloney.
Want some advice? 4/17/11
Most us need some advice, but most of us don't really want any. How do you react when someone says, "If I were you I'd..." Remember what Mary Poppins said? "Just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down." In the Bible, Proverbs 15:1 tells us "that a soft answer will turn away wrath", but our pride usually jumps in and we say or do something really stupid,
like burn a bridge.
Here are some wisdoms I recently read:
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Always and never are two words we should always remember never to use.
The bad news is time flies- the good news is you're the pilot.
like burn a bridge.
Here are some wisdoms I recently read:
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Always and never are two words we should always remember never to use.
The bad news is time flies- the good news is you're the pilot.
Incredible Edibles 1/22/2011
One year for Christmas, oh so many years ago, of all the thing I wanted - I wanted an "Incredible Edibles" set. This was really a boys EZ bake oven, only the oven looked like a goofy monster and the monster cooked worms and bugs that were made from flavored goop you squeezed out of a tube. This was long before gummy worms! The best thing of getting this toy was probably the fact that an older brother bet me I was not going to get it. We as a family were not poor, but my parents made the money go a long way and gifts tended to be less trendy than this. When I got this it was a double win. I don't think this item could even be sold for kids to play with anymore. It was hot! Even with warnings of "HOT" we still got burned, but this was before frivolous lawsuits and parents comforted their children by telling them, "you knew it was hot, now go run cold water on it". I long for those no nonsense days..... and every once in a while I still get a craving for a few root beer centipedes and licorice flavored octopi. (See one here)
Hezzie Haiku 11 1/3/11
He sinks in a drift
Then hangs by determined chin
Feet paddling duck like
Then hangs by determined chin
Feet paddling duck like
Proud Dad Moment 12/26/10
My son Peter is a musician who works for McNally Smith College of Music in St. Paul, Minnesota. He also recently released a CD of his own music. One song called "Lighten your load" even features 12 bars of uke played by his dear old dad. I know he could have played it- he plays uke too, he just wanted to share a moment with his dad and I'm proud to have seen a glimpse of what he does when engineering in the studio.
You can listen to his CD here.
Come on everyone- let's sing 11/28/10
Thanksgiving for All...... 11/24/10
Everyone is different. Shade, religion, shape, attitude. Some have families- some do not. Some cry, some laugh. Some talk, some listen. Some wake with the birds - others are night owls.
One thing we all have in common is the need for others, shelter and food. Here in Minnesota it gets very cold. We have coat and blanket donations for the needy and food shelves and kitchens for those who need help to get food. People are always grateful when they get help even if they are to proud to ask for it. Here is where we come in- those of us who have more. We should be Thankful for what we have and look for opportunities to aide others. Listen for ringing bells this time of year. It is one way to give to others and help in a very significant way.....
A Lot of Baloney! 11/19/10
I'm tired of the rule of law being bent depending which side of the law you sit on. It seems when you are involved in making the law as a publicly elected official and you break the law you can cry like a fallen minister to the rest of the congregation and all is forgiven. "I didn't do it on purpose", "There was a miscommunication", "The forms are too difficult to understand". Imagine if you were you standing in front of a judge and and used those excuses. Would you get off with a pat on the hand? Rangel is the most recent of the forgiven backsliders and Snipes and others go to jail. If you make the laws you are not above the law, but you should live in the law. There are a lot of crooks in government and we are dumb enough to keep them there. That's a lot of baloney and I don't want to offend the baloney... I like baloney.
Do you have a caption? 11/12/10
I think I found your harmonica.....
So, that was quite a game Friday night wasn't it!
Why did we have to do this on Taco Tuesday?!
The meeting of the Royal Morons has been called
to order.
Has anyone seen my pet mouse?
Ohhhh...I shouldn't have eaten all those goldfish.
Why am I the only one smiling?....
Oh, so that's how you play an E chord!
So, that was quite a game Friday night wasn't it!
Why did we have to do this on Taco Tuesday?!
The meeting of the Royal Morons has been called
to order.
Has anyone seen my pet mouse?
Ohhhh...I shouldn't have eaten all those goldfish.
Why am I the only one smiling?....
Oh, so that's how you play an E chord!
"Infestations"...... 11/10/10
I sometimes worry about head lice or bed bugs.
I sure never want to have a "mouse infestation".
Amazing update- when this story first broke the head-line was "Mouse infested naked man arrested". It was written that the naked man had a rodent up his rearendum. Now I ask- which is worse? What was he doing anyway; deleting SPAM?! Good thing he wasn't wireless.....
Hezzie Haiku 10 10/28/10
He hears natures call
But it's windy and rainy
He resists the urge
But it's windy and rainy
He resists the urge
Hezzie Haiku 9 10/12/10
Birch leaves surrounding
Thrashing towards a squirrel
The rodent mocks him
Thrashing towards a squirrel
The rodent mocks him
It ain't easy bein' a Dave.... 9/27/10
I know many of you are jealous of one of my generations favorite male names, but we have our own burdens.....
The Daves I Know....
Too Many Daves....
Stop Dave, I'm Afraid...
And, of course.... Hasselhoff.
The Daves I Know....
Too Many Daves....
Stop Dave, I'm Afraid...
And, of course.... Hasselhoff.
9/4/10 Hezzie Haiku 8
8/12/10 Hmmmmm......
Amazing you say?.....
A similar thing happened near a town I used to live in. At two different stop sign areas the pavement was stenciled "STOP AHAED".
This is not to far removed, but when was the last time (or maybe only time or never?) you have read our national constitution? This is a little tougher than spelling, but do it. Now.
The uneducated are easily led astray.
A similar thing happened near a town I used to live in. At two different stop sign areas the pavement was stenciled "STOP AHAED".
This is not to far removed, but when was the last time (or maybe only time or never?) you have read our national constitution? This is a little tougher than spelling, but do it. Now.
The uneducated are easily led astray.
7/20/10 Hezzie Haiku 7
Calling him fruitless
Slightly crinkle the treat bag
He comes from hiding
Slightly crinkle the treat bag
He comes from hiding
7/9/10 Mitchum on chord shapes?
This photo is from a movie called "Night of the Hunter", with Robert Mitchum. Mitchum plays a murderous deceiver who poses as as an itinerant preacher. He has the tattoos "love" on his right hand and "hate" on his left. This is a really creepy movie made in the 50's that is based on a true story from the 30's. Look here.
I think a lot of us Ukesters have the same feeling with our hands. Strumming OK, chording, mmmmm.... not so good. Don't Tattoo your hands!
Amazon has it for sale.....
I think a lot of us Ukesters have the same feeling with our hands. Strumming OK, chording, mmmmm.... not so good. Don't Tattoo your hands!
Amazon has it for sale.....
6/30/10 Hezzie Haiku 6
He walks trailing me
Suddenly stops and jerks leash
Something to smell here
Suddenly stops and jerks leash
Something to smell here
6/29/10 The Ukulele Benediction
(as said at the Corktown Ukulele Jam in Toronto)
Authored by co-founder/co-host of the Corktown Ukulele Jam; David Newland.
"On Earth we strive for earthly things
And suffer sorrows daily
In heaven, choirs of angels sing
While we play ukulele."
See them bestow this upon Jake. Toronto uke club website here.
"On Earth we strive for earthly things
And suffer sorrows daily
In heaven, choirs of angels sing
While we play ukulele."
See them bestow this upon Jake. Toronto uke club website here.
6/20/10 Go ahead... play with your food!
I like to cook and I can be creative when I cook. The point of my cooking is to make something tasty to eat. Jim makes awesomely fun pancakes for his daughter. Maybe he makes the kitchen a mess for his wife? You have got to see his creative pancakes website! He even has videos on YouTube showing how he makes 'em... http://www.youtube.com/user/jimspancakes They look fun enough to eat, but this is Father's Day.... Maybe someone could scramble Jim an egg?
5/28/10 Hezzie Haiku 5
He's self assertive
Even when he is tired out
He hogs the pillow
Even when he is tired out
He hogs the pillow
5/24/10 No legislator left behind?
Don't you think politicians should read what they vote for/against? Or critique? The issue shouldn't matter---- shouldn't they read it?
5/21/10 Some days you just have to talk yourself in to.
Hezzie Haiku 4... 5/19/10
Short summer haircut
Feeling aerodynamic
He trots with a smile
Feeling aerodynamic
He trots with a smile
5/2/10 Mother's day is next week, today is....
National Play Your Ukulele Day Celebrate with a song by my friend Todd in Arizona...
4/24/10 Don't we all need privacy?
.......or maybe we just need space?
"The difference between knowledge and wisdom is that wisdom is using knowledge so no one ends up stinking"
"Some fights are not worth having"
"What we have here is success in communication"
"Hate the sin, love the sinner"
"Opposites attract"
"Just don't touch my remote"
"Some fights are not worth having"
"What we have here is success in communication"
"Hate the sin, love the sinner"
"Opposites attract"
"Just don't touch my remote"
4/21/10 Four things you can never recover.....
1) The stone after the throw
2) The word after it's said
3) The occasion after it's missed
4) The time after it's gone
2) The word after it's said
3) The occasion after it's missed
4) The time after it's gone
4/18/10 Hezzie Haiku 3
Bark is worse than bite
That really doesn't take much
He can be real loud
That really doesn't take much
He can be real loud
Spring is here.... 3/30/10
"O.K., so what" you say... "March 20th has come and gone- we know spring is here". But you see, if you lived in a northern climate you'd say, "hey, not so fast". Our springs tend to take a lot more convincing than just the equinox sayin' so.
Many people have ways of assuring them that yes, spring has come.
"The first robin of spring" you say, but because of so many fruit trees and shrubs planted in landscapes we have robins who tough it out all winter now.
Some use redwing blackbirds as their signal because the males get up here pretty early in the season to stake out territories for when their gals catch up to them.
My parents liked flickers. These birds eat ants and other insects and as the ground warms and insects start reproducing they have a food supply.
So much for birds. I am a bird watcher, but when it comes to spring- I use turtles. When I see my first basking turtles I know that spring is sticking around. You see, after the ice melts off of the ponds and lakes the water stays pretty cold until the temps start to slowly warm it. Then the increasing sun is able to wake the turtles out of their torpor. Yesterday I saw my first basking turtle....it was in a small pond, but I saw him.
Today I wore my shorts for work.
Many people have ways of assuring them that yes, spring has come.
"The first robin of spring" you say, but because of so many fruit trees and shrubs planted in landscapes we have robins who tough it out all winter now.
Some use redwing blackbirds as their signal because the males get up here pretty early in the season to stake out territories for when their gals catch up to them.
My parents liked flickers. These birds eat ants and other insects and as the ground warms and insects start reproducing they have a food supply.
So much for birds. I am a bird watcher, but when it comes to spring- I use turtles. When I see my first basking turtles I know that spring is sticking around. You see, after the ice melts off of the ponds and lakes the water stays pretty cold until the temps start to slowly warm it. Then the increasing sun is able to wake the turtles out of their torpor. Yesterday I saw my first basking turtle....it was in a small pond, but I saw him.
Today I wore my shorts for work.
The Wild West and Health Care 3/27/10
Leaning his chair back against his office wall while whittling, the town Marshall carefully watched a cowboy and his horse tiredly amble down the street into town. Reining in to the hitching post in front of the Marshall's office the cowboy dismounted, he slapped the reins around the rail, brushed the dust off of himself with his hat and loosened the saddle cinch. He then went around to the back of his gelding, lifted it's tail and kissed it right on the full moon. The Marshall, eyes widened, said, "stranger, did I see what I think I saw and why did I see it?" The cowboy drawled, "well Marshall, I've been on the trail for a good long time and I've got a real bad case of chapped lips". "Does that cure chapped lips?" the Marshall asked. "Well, no" the cowboy replied, "but it does keep me from licken' 'em".........
American ideals...? 3/9/10
Have you ever wondered why our tax system doesn't encourage saving money instead of borrowing money? You get to deduct interest on your mortgage when you file your taxes, but you have to pay taxes on the interest you earn on your savings.
Have you considered the fact that the government of the US is paying bills and borrowing more for funding more programs with money from China and other countries. The people of China save more money than Americans do.... even though, as you well know earn less.
People of other countries save money for their futures while we squander ours for today.
Take a look at the National debt clock here. It might be enlightening....
Have you considered the fact that the government of the US is paying bills and borrowing more for funding more programs with money from China and other countries. The people of China save more money than Americans do.... even though, as you well know earn less.
People of other countries save money for their futures while we squander ours for today.
Take a look at the National debt clock here. It might be enlightening....
The Bathtub test 3/1/10
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not a person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the retiree and ask him or her to empty the bathtub". "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Good Captions? 2/26/10
"Two thoughts on a one track mind"
"Government plans on hold for high-speed rail"
"Driver claims deer jumped out in front of him"
"New art exhibit about male/female interaction"
"Train wreck caused by Bush administration"
"Harry Pelosi legislating against public opinion"
"Reading and B&O merge near Ventnor Avenue"
Do you have a good caption to share?
"Government plans on hold for high-speed rail"
"Driver claims deer jumped out in front of him"
"New art exhibit about male/female interaction"
"Train wreck caused by Bush administration"
"Harry Pelosi legislating against public opinion"
"Reading and B&O merge near Ventnor Avenue"
Do you have a good caption to share?
2/7/10 Hezzie Haiku 2
Growly bark and snarf
Keeping tight neighborhood watch
He is protective
Keeping tight neighborhood watch
He is protective
1/30/10 Cold Winter Fun
Minnesota winters are cold and people get creative with diversions. Today there was an "Art Sled Rally" at Powderhorn Park in Minneapolis. Maybe you are more familiar with art cars. Well, these are sleds. This is a picture of a sled made by Julian of Leonardos Basement. It is supposed to be a guitar, but I went to watch because this only had four strings. The hole you see on the end was supposed to be the cockpit entrance, but he ended up riding it down the hill laying on the top.
Here you can see a few of the creations. There were gorillas riding a banana (which was one of the longest distance sleds), the whole cast of Pacman, and an I dream of Jeannie bottle with three passengers. The sled in the right bottom corner is a Milk Carton Boat which pays homage to an actual summer competition in the Minneapolis Aquatennial.
Here you can see Julian sliding across the "finish line". He then performed the rock and roll smash the guitar routine. I guess it couldn't have been an ukulele after all.... ukuleles get more respect!
Here is a photo of the hill itself and some of the crowd.
Despite getting pretty cold I had a lot of fun at this event. It reminded me a little bit of the ice fishing contests I used to go to as a younger man..... except there weren't a bunch of empty beer cans left on the ground when it was over.
Despite getting pretty cold I had a lot of fun at this event. It reminded me a little bit of the ice fishing contests I used to go to as a younger man..... except there weren't a bunch of empty beer cans left on the ground when it was over.
1/29/10 Hezzie Haiku 1
My small furry friend
Writing his name in the snow
He even dots "i"
Writing his name in the snow
He even dots "i"
1/21/10 Ever have a communication problem?
1/08/10 A satirical video about taxes.....
Happy Birthday Elvis!
12/17/09 Do you do business this way?
Recently while attempting to get universal health coverage passed, President Obama urged the Congress not to get distracted by the details, but to sign the bill into legislation. Now, no matter how you feel about this legislation, let me ask you this: If your car salesman or your real estate agent told you, "don't get bogged down in the details, just sign the contract", how would you feel? Would you hurry and sign it or or would you sit back and wonder what you are getting into? Would you even possibly think the sales person is trying to pull a fast one on you? A lot of people are losing homes right now, perhaps because they didn't get bogged down in the details of their contract. Sometime it pays to slow down and think about it.......
1/23/10 Typical....
We see polls and surveys all over the place. We know the questions are even directed at getting a certain response. Here is an interesting example. I googled the word "brown" and I found that at the site "about.com" they have all kinds of information about brown. Take a look. They even allow you to vote on what your favorite color is at the bottom of the page.... Brown is not a color choice that you can vote for!
When I get a survey phone call I start with saying, "sure, but who is paying for this survey and how many questions are going to ask me". A lot of times these surveys ask you one question and will say "Thanks for your time" and thats the end of it. The caller could tell you were not going to give them the results that would help them. If you don't believe me try it next time... and why do they think I wouldn't vote for Brown?
When I get a survey phone call I start with saying, "sure, but who is paying for this survey and how many questions are going to ask me". A lot of times these surveys ask you one question and will say "Thanks for your time" and thats the end of it. The caller could tell you were not going to give them the results that would help them. If you don't believe me try it next time... and why do they think I wouldn't vote for Brown?
12/12/09 I like this idea
12/7/09 Is socialism economically fair?
Did you know that in one of the most well known socialist countries - Sweden, the top 1% owns 40% of the wealth. If wealth spread out among classes is the measuring stick of the success and fairness of socialism, Sweden must be "more fair" than the U.S.- right? The most recent statistics I've read show that the top 1% in the U.S. earns about 21% of the wealth. Something doesn’t seem "fair" about that.....
11/14/09 Rich?
As you may have noticed, I get a kick out of some bumper stickers. I saw one the other day that made me laugh at first and then think more than others have. The sticker simply said, "EAT THE RICH" . At first it did strike me as funny, but then I thought about how relative the term "RICH" is. The bumper sticker was on a used car probably five years old or so, that while used, was probably worth twenty times the average yearly income in Haiti.
This holiday season let's throw a little more in the bell ringer's bucket or some other collection for the less fortunate; because while there are those who may be more rich there are always those less fortunate too.
This holiday season let's throw a little more in the bell ringer's bucket or some other collection for the less fortunate; because while there are those who may be more rich there are always those less fortunate too.
10/28/09
I saw a flock of Cedar Waxwings eating fruit off of a flowering crab yesterday. The drive to eat and to be moved by season; and the mere fact that I was where I was at a particular moment is the only reason I saw them. If it had been sunnier or windier or if I had had a flat tire - I wouldn't have seen them.
We can't play what-ifs or we will do nothing and miss the birds that are flying by us right now. Look around. You are there and so is a time and a place. Don't miss it.
We can't play what-ifs or we will do nothing and miss the birds that are flying by us right now. Look around. You are there and so is a time and a place. Don't miss it.
10/27/09 A question
Has there ever been a tax which made something less expensive and easier to afford?
10/03/09 Beware what you wish for....
"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.” – Thomas Jefferson
9/25/09 My thought today
Beware of the "free" lunch. If you are getting one you are either someone's pet or being fattened for slaughter....
This is kind of a timely quote....
"You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
You cannot build character and courage by destroying men's initiative and independence.
And you cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves."
......William J. H. Boetcker 1873-1962
(per wikipedia)
C4C 8/29/09
So, today I took my car into the dealership that I bought it from a couple years ago to get the oil changed. The "C4C" or Cash for Clunkers program ended last Monday and there were probably a hundred cars sitting there waiting for the paperwork to get cleared and the cars crushed. At least half of the cars there waiting in that "C4C" lot were in nicer condition than my "second" car and a lot of other peoples only car.
I simply have to wonder if the real energy of the replacement of these very useable cars will out-weigh the loss of these very useable cars. People of modest means could have used these cars to better their lives and it seems that the people who benefited the most from this program were people who had the means to buy a new car with or without incentive from the government.
I'm not speaking out of envy for those who bought a new car under this program. I'm just wondering about the wisdom of once again having government interfere with the financial future of the next generation by having a increasing national mortgage financed by China for automobiles with a shelf life of ten years.....
I simply have to wonder if the real energy of the replacement of these very useable cars will out-weigh the loss of these very useable cars. People of modest means could have used these cars to better their lives and it seems that the people who benefited the most from this program were people who had the means to buy a new car with or without incentive from the government.
I'm not speaking out of envy for those who bought a new car under this program. I'm just wondering about the wisdom of once again having government interfere with the financial future of the next generation by having a increasing national mortgage financed by China for automobiles with a shelf life of ten years.....
The Reckoning
It's fine to have a blow-out in a fancy restaurant,
With terrapin and canvas-back and all the wine you want;
To enjoy the flowers and music, watch the pretty women pass,
Smoke a choice cigar, and sip the wealthy water in your glass.
It's bully in a high-toned joint to eat and drink your fill,
But it's quite another matter when you
Pay the bill.
It's great to go out every night on fun or pleasure bent;
To wear your glad rags always and to never save a cent;
To drift along regardless, have a good time every trip;
To hit the high spots sometimes, and to let your chances slip;
To know you're acting foolish, yet to go on fooling still,
Till Nature calls a show-down, and you
Pay the bill.
Time has got a little bill--get wise while yet you may,
For the debt side's increasing in a most alarming way;
The things you had no right to do,
the things you should have done,
They're all put down; it's up to you to pay for every one.
So eat, drink and be merry, have a good time if you will,
But God help you when the time comes, and you
Foot the bill.
By Robert Service
With terrapin and canvas-back and all the wine you want;
To enjoy the flowers and music, watch the pretty women pass,
Smoke a choice cigar, and sip the wealthy water in your glass.
It's bully in a high-toned joint to eat and drink your fill,
But it's quite another matter when you
Pay the bill.
It's great to go out every night on fun or pleasure bent;
To wear your glad rags always and to never save a cent;
To drift along regardless, have a good time every trip;
To hit the high spots sometimes, and to let your chances slip;
To know you're acting foolish, yet to go on fooling still,
Till Nature calls a show-down, and you
Pay the bill.
Time has got a little bill--get wise while yet you may,
For the debt side's increasing in a most alarming way;
The things you had no right to do,
the things you should have done,
They're all put down; it's up to you to pay for every one.
So eat, drink and be merry, have a good time if you will,
But God help you when the time comes, and you
Foot the bill.
By Robert Service
